RICKY:
I try it out. How do you do? I am proud American Ricky Farmer. My accent is curious secret town in Oklahoma no one pronounce correct, and I no serve in the army because:

I got flat feet, so they won’t let me into the army.
I got flat feet, so they don’t want me for a recruit.
I got flat feet, so that don’t believe that I can peel potatoes.
I got flat feet, I can’t even drive a jeep, type letters or salute.

It’s as if I got no feet at all.
Can’t they hear I hear my country’s call?
I’ve got something every soldier’s got:
As big a chance of getting shot.

GENERAL GROVES
Dr. Bohr, Dr. Nils Bohr, you are now Nick Baker. Myopic.

NICK
My big glasses, eh? My name, Nick Baker. My accent is from the Tishomongo where we work in submarine factory. I no service in the army because:

I got coke bottle glasses.
I got eyes like a mole.
I can’t see twenty feet away so
Don’t put me on patrol.

But when there’s smoke in the battle,
Luftwasse roaring above,
I see as good as you
Just point and give a shove.

It’s myopic to ignore me.
Children and their pets adore me.
Kill me or esprit de corps me—
I’ll show what an American is really made of!

EDDIE
Eliazar Silberschmidt! I mean Eddie Silver! I too was born and bred in Tishomongo, but not in the same borough as these fellows. Are there any good forgers here? Because I need someone to fake a signature for me!

Mom and dad won’t let me join
The Army, Navy, Air Force, or Marines.
Without their signature okaying it
I’ll have to wait until my later teens.

What’s the use of finishing up high school,
Back home in Tishomongo, Oklahoma,
If Nazi’s are our teachers there tomorrow—
Then what’s the point of earning a diploma?

Won’t you listen to me, Mammy?
Pappy, I won't beg no more:
Take a look at Uncle Sammy
Saying, “I want you to give me him to win the war!”

(They repeat all three verses together.)

ALL:

That's why we're here in New Mexico.
We've come from Tishomongo to do our part at home.
Here in New Mexico.
We're building submarines where nobody will look.
Here in New Mexico.
Way up high!
On a mesa!
Wouldn't you like to buy the Brooklyn Bridge?!

ALL
(with variations)

So I’m sorry that I can’t go to Franco or Morocco.
And I’m sorry that I can’t shuffle into Berlin.
And I’m sorry that you’ll never read how I became a hero.
How I never got to be half of the things I always knew I might have been.

When the whole world seems to be in chaos
It’s a damn shame when they tell you “no.”
Only saying it’s killing me to stay home
I’m safer if you let me go!

Every night before I sleep I humbly pray,
“Lord please end this war today.”

RICKY: Flat Feet!
NICK: Coke bottle glasses!
EDDIE: It seems that I'm too damn young!